I get bored easily. I’m even bored with my own blog posts. So I’m changing my Friday posts from the usual wrap ups to a weekly Awkward & Awesome list. Enjoy.
–Accidentally using honey and Season-All instead of honey and cinnamon. I’m pretty sure Julia Child would’ve just straight up passed out if she’d found out what happens in my kitchen.
-Slicing up the wedges in your grapefruit so deep that you unknowingly poke holes in the bottom of it. So eventually you turn it over to squeeze all the juice out, only to have 20 miniature holes squirting your eyes with what I’m like 98% sure was Mace.
-Walking full-speed ahead towards the check-out line at Walmart. Clearly, not browsing for anything. One of the associates stops, looks at me and says “OK, I found it. The mango salsa is on aisle 9.” Of course I’m thinking this guy is kind of a nutbag … but I say, “Great. Thanks”. Only to realize the woman behind me says thanks too. And the nutbag-turned-not-nutbag-but-actually-a-helpful-associate gives me the “your poor brain must’ve up and died” look.
Actually … yes.
-Discovering that Burt’s Bees baby oil is the best thing to ever happen to my legs.
-The older woman who came up to me in the store, convinced that we had been friends years ago. I tried to tell her that I would have been 7 at the time….and I’m from T-E-X-A-S, but she wasn’t having any of it.
-The fastest trip to the salon I’ve ever had – an hour in and out. Plus it was 25 bucks. I’ve never been a good coupon clipper. But Groupons … Groupons I can do.
-OK. Face massages? Blowing my mind right now.