IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!! My Golden Birthday at that! Today I celebrate my 29th birthday on the 29th day of June!
And since I’m already older and (much) wiser than last year I thought I’d share some of my wisdom. I’ve been 29 for two hours now which makes me an expert, right?
15 things that I assume happen when a person turns 29:
- One wirey hair starts growing on your chin and returns 14 seconds after you pluck it.
- You consider having a child for the time off work.
- A hangover takes 3 days to cure, and you cure it with big girl drugs like percocet.
- You don’t giggle when someone farts. Okay you still giggle, but not audibly.
- Dilbert becomes funny.
- You buy Activia because you think it was noble of Jamie Lee Curtis to pose unphotoshopped.
- Older men don’t look as hairy as they used to.
- You can sort of keep a plant alive.
- Dry clean only clothes get cleaned instead of thrown out.
- Your friends start having kids that aren’t accidents.
- There are STDs you haven’t heard of.
- You stop choosing wine based on the picture on the bottle.
- Cathy cartoons still aren’t funny, but you get what all the screaming is about.
- You try to calculate exactly how many more times in your life you’ll have to buy tampons.
- You start choosing concerts by whether or not there are chairs.
Sh*t I Found Online While I Was Suppose to be Working: