How to Build a Fort

This is (what I believe to be) Monkey (my nearly 2 year old friend) thought process over the course of about 5 minutes each day around noon.

  1. Umm, what are the cushions doing on the sofa when they could be made into an awesome fort?
  2. Auntie RaRa, help me build a fort.
  3. No, it’s never too late to build a fort. What’s wrong with you?
  4. Wait, WHAT are you doing starting with that cushion?
  6. Where’s my dad? He knows how to build a fort.
  7. No answer. I guess you’ll just have to do.
  8. No, it’s NOT going to fall down if I put…
  9. Oops, you were right.
  10. This fort is laaame. It needs more pillows.
  11. All the pillows in the entire house will go into this fort.
  12. No, you go upstairs and get them.
  13. This will be the most gigantic fort EVER.
  14. I need my diaper changed.
  15. Hmm, but what about the fort?
  16. Stop telling me I need a diaper change! And start helping me build this fort!
  17. Ok, Hitler, I’ll get changed. Jesus, what is this, the kid military?
  18. OK, I’m clean. Does that mean you will start understanding how forts work?
  19. Oh my God! Did you really just use the back loveseat cushion as a wall? Ok, I had no idea what I was dealing with here.
  20. Should we start from the beginning? A fort has 4 walls and …
  22. Ugh, no, I’m not hungry either. Are those the only questions you know?
  23. You know what question you should ask? “Hey Monkey, how do I build a fort?”
  24. Oh good, you used the big cushion for the wall. Somebody’s a good listener.
  25. Wait though, there’s this identical cushion from the other side of the sofa that should go there instead.
  26. Umm, because I know more about forts than you, that’s why.
  27. You’re right, that shouldn’t be how it is. Unfortunately, I have an aunt who knows jack about forts.
  28. Ok, I like that.
  29. Oh, impressive.
  30. VERY NICE!
  31. Ok, we need a top.
  32. No, not “like a tapestry or something.” I don’t even know what a tapestry is, but there’s no way it’s a decent fort roof.
  33. We put the red blanket on top and THEN the tapestry. How is that not obvious?
  34. Does that look flat to you? You know saggy fort roofs make me have to pee, right? So…. why would you do that?
  35. Don’t be sad. It’s just a stupid fort.
  36. I’m sorry. You’re a good fort builder. Yes, seriously (not).
  37. Ok, now it needs a door.
  38. Huh? I thought you would know.
  39. Oh, good call. Ok, I’m gonna climb in. No, no, it’s fine, trust me.
  40. Little help? This fort just collapsed on me.
  41. Can I please have some milk?
  42. Please rebuild the fort exactly like it was before while I lay here and drink milk.
  43. No, that’s already not right.
  44. Well, for one, there was no steeple on the last fort.
  45. What’s the longest book in the house? Cool, I wanna read that before my nap.

3 thoughts on “How to Build a Fort

  1. elisels says:

    All kids love to build forts! What is it with forts? I don’t think I ever built one though my kids did and my grandson, Alex does! We used to take an old bedspred and throw it over the clothes line to make a “tent” when I was young! Same idea, I guess! Kids!!!

  2. leann payne says:

    ohhhh funny!

  3. Nancy Gorrell says:

    Two year old tyranny!

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