Ahhh…comfort. Doesn’t the word alone bring up warm fuzzy thoughts? Comfortable shoes, a comfy chair, comfort foods…
I’m now aware how often I choose comfort over anything else. As adventurous and spontaneous as I am, when I’m hurting or stressed I instinctively try to seek out comfort. And not the good kind, I tend to look for what ends up being the messy, temporary and easy comfort. I’m learning it can be dangerous. It can be hurtful, destructive and cause more pain than healing.
When I choose comfort I choose fear. I choose to hide not confront. I blind myself to the real problem and isolate.
Comfort is so attractive because it doesn’t require much, if any work and it can be instantly attainable. Instant gratification. It never sustains me, but it gives me just enough to survive for a short amount of time. And sometimes, that’s all I want in that moment.
I’m sad so I eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.
I’m depressed so I lay in bed all day and shut out the world.
I’m melancholy and beat down so I drown out the daily noise with my headphones filled with words of someone else’s pain and apathy.
I’m lonely so I choose cheap affection instead of true love.
My mentor uses the word “cheap” a lot when we talk about comfort. Cheap conversations, cheap affections, cheap relationships, cheap situations…they all give us the feeling that there is no worth or value. Cheap is the opposite of costly. If is doesn’t cost us anything it’s probably not worth much to us right?
I’ve done this for far too long and it leaves me just feeling like I’m spinning my wheels. I’m going around and around and not moving forward at all. So now, instead of choosing comfort, I choose love. I have decided to love myself, love others and ultimately love Jesus more. Sometimes that means not running in search for a comfortable place to hide. Sometimes that means sitting in the pain and messy spaces of life. It’s entering into the ugliness and seeking out the root of the problem. I can rest in love and feel sustained by Him alone.
Love is not always comfortable. But love IS sustaining. It’s value and grace; truth and freedom.
So what do you find comfort in? Do you find it sustains you or is it a temporary relief from something?