ruin and restore

Like some of you, I have a list of people who I pray for and am constantly adding new names and situations to this list. There are things like life transitions, health concerns, pregnancy, marriage struggles, job security, etc that I pray for these friends.

But Jesus and I have another list. I like to call it our hit list. These people are different. They are in need of something more. They need Jesus to absolutely ruin them. No pretty prayers, no “dear lord please give them peace and spare them from pain and sadness.” In fact when Jesus and I meet up to talk about these people I specifically ask him not to take away their current pain or fear. Instead I ask him to use it.

In what is hands down my favorite movie, Fight Club, there’s a line that says “It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

You see resurrection can only come after death. We each have to essentially die to something (false hopes, beliefs, identities, etc) in order to gain something more.

We have to be ruined before we can be restored.

This week I have taken the opportunity to pray for five specific people. I have prayed for everything to absolutely cave in on each of them if it means God can then start rebuilding.

On Tuesday morning I sat on the doorstep of a house that until very recently I used to visit often. I sat there alone, in broad daylight and prayed out loud for God to take hold of the person inside, break their heart and restore them to who HE desires them to be.

Later that afternoon I walked into an office building and slowly made my way through the halls, praying over the owner and their business.

Throughout the day I stopped at places where Jesus and I could take time to have a conversation about each of these people.

Each time I cried out, pleaded with Jesus to ruin them. Ruin by overwhelming them with His love.

As crazy as this may sound to you, I love it! And I plan to continue. Why? Because years ago someone prayed that I would be “ruined enough for my true self to finally be revealed.” I needed the layers of lies and temporary happiness to crumble away.  I am forever thankful for this person who had the courage to pray in such an honest and risky way. Now I desire to do the same for those around me.

Jesus, RUIN these five people. Break their hearts. Shake them up!! Cause them to see you in a new way. Overwhelm them with your unfailing grace and love. May they hit the ground hard and then have the power and courage in time to stand back up. I pray that you would throw them into the refining fire, capture their bodies minds and spirits in a way only you can. Love them Jesus. And help me to continue to love them even from a distance. May they be restored to their full self; a reflection of your beauty, strength, truth and love. And continue to ruin me every day as well, so I can fully live as the woman you have created me to be.

Ruin and restore.
Ruin and restore.


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