this is me

I originally wanted to title this post “this is me (deal with it!)” I have spent a better part of this part year re-discovering who I am and painfully working on accepting that and living in my true identity. I wrote this post nearly three years ago when I was deep in my struggle to accept the woman God created me to be. It’s good to look back and see how much has happened since then.

For much of my life I have compromised my beliefs, my opinions, my thoughts and my true identity in order to be who someone else wants me to be. But the freedom I now experience each day since I took back control and live out of who I am completely, unapologetically… is SO life giving I can not go back. I refuse to.

This is who I am.

I dance around my kitchen like a fool. I belt out 80s hair band songs with my windows rolled down in the car. I approach strangers to ask how I can pray for them. I seek out the abnormal and keep myself mostly in the gray areas of life. I don’t always play by the rules. I ask way too many questions. I have a tendency to care too much for others. I fight like hell for what (and who) I believe in. I hate quitters. I seek to be creative every day of my life. And I don’t ever want to change in these ways.

I am deeply loved, therefore I love intentionally and uninhibitedly.

I am covered in grace so I continue to seek forgiveness and restoration for myself and those I hold close in life.

I embrace the creative being that I am and seek to direct it all back to the One who created me.

I accept that I am “unfinished” and that there is more work to be done in my life and within my heart. I invite others to journey with me in this and choose not to isolate when change and growth is difficult.

I’m confident that the man God has for me will fall in love with the wildly, apologetically authentic spirit in me that others have only tried to tame.

I won’t accept anything other than 100% honesty.

I believe I am good enough.

I have a voice and it is worth being heard. I will continue to allow my heart to sing.

I am a storyteller and will write the stories of my life and share them with the world.

I am a nurturer to many and a mother to none. And I feel overwhelmingly blessed.

I am a woman who desires intimacy and community. I won’t settle for temporary when my heart longs for something more.

When you can look at yourself in the mirror and be fully satisfied with who you are I believe  that is loving yourself.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind and Love your neighbor as yourself.

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