open hands

I was sitting in Starbucks earlier today when Jesus walked in and very rudely interrupted my coffee break. He let me know that I’ve been running away from him. Yeah, thanks Jesus, I already knew that.

I was overcome with guilt and sadness. I sat there next to Him and wondered how I got to this place. This space of pain and suffering. Then it hit me- I put myself here. I walked away from Him. I stopped listening to His voice. He has never walked away from me, he’s never stopped talking to me. I was the one who created this distance. And now I need to change it.

So I’m taking another “retreat” with Jesus. Getting the hell out of dodge. Just an overnight bag and an airline ticket. My hope, my prayer, the desire of my heart is that I will let go, give up control of everything that I have based my identity in. Release everything and everyone who I’ve allowed to take pieces of my dignity. Something radical needs to happen. It’s go time.

I’m opening my hands and my heart. Ready to see and experience change.

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