I recently blogged about my fast from sex. Today I want to share a little more about fasting from music.
I have had a love affair with music since as long as I can remember. Music feeds my soul. Music brings peace and comfort to me. I am inspired and encouraged by a simple melody and raw words. Music has shaped and changed my life.
But lately I’ve noticed that when things aren’t happening like I think they should or I experience a loss of some sort I run to music for comfort instead of God. This realization is what caused me to give up both sex and music for Lent. God is no longer my central focus. I don’t go to Him first anymore when I need encouragement or love.
When I say I’ve given up music for Lent I should state that I have certain boundaries. Yes, I still hear music throughout the week. No, I don’t isolate myself and never leave the house out of fear of the car radio or music at a store. I hear music at friends homes, on television, etc. It would be nearly impossible to give up music completely. So I’ve chosen to stop listening to music only when I’m alone. Those are the times when no one else is around I chose to turn on the stereo and allow the words of songs to comfort me or change my mood. And this happens often. Almost daily in the past. I still don’t think there’s overall a problem with that. Jesus gave me a love of music. But when I start replacing His words, His voice with someone else’s, that’s where I go wrong. I struggle in general to quiet every other voice but His.
Sunday was my “free day” from fasting. I woke up and immediately plugged in my iPod. But by mid day I turned off the music and ask God to speak to me. Not through other people, not through music. I simply wanted to hear his voice and nothing else.
This is definitely not easy. And I’ve still got weeks left in my fast! But slowly God is showing me how I need to change and He’s gently moving me through the painful and uncomfortable process of transformation.
Here are some things I received from my conversations with God this morning:
Hold unswervingly to the hope you profess, for HE who promised IS faithful.
He is enough for me. I really don’t need anything or anyone else.
I have been promised victory over death.
I’m not just surviving, I’m thriving!
It’s not all about me. It’s not all about me. It’s not all about me.
I’m not alone in this.
“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.”