I need to be unnerved.
I want my pulse back.
I don’t want to feel disconnected anymore.

These thoughts plagued me for months. And weeks ago I decided to do something about it.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I don’t believe in them. But I do believe in having overall goals and desires for my life. My first goal for this year: Don’t plan so much.

I feel the need to be more spontaneous, live without checking my schedule every few hours and just enjoy whatever experiences come my way. I want to start LIVING again. And I have. Since January I have:

  • Begun each morning with 30 minutes of silent meditation
  • Started a completely Gluten free diet
  • Had a three week love affair
  • Lost my job
  • Lost my car
  • Learned to let go (yet again)
  • Took my creativity to a new level
  • Rediscovered my love of dance
  • Cried a lot
  • Laughed a lot more
  • Risked my heart
  • Redefined love
  • Spoke truth in new ways
  • Began painting regularly again
  • And I’m becoming a better friend, daughter, leader and woman of God

This year I want to pray more, laugh more, eat better, drink less, speak truth, give grace, risk often, and love deeply.

Last year I was ruined. This year, I’m on the road to transformation. And it feels amazing.


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