As a woman I’ve learned, you know you’ve got Southern blood if:
- One of the worst days of your life revolved around something that happened to your hair.
- You can apply lipstick without looking in a mirror.
- You have at least five recipes that call for cream of mushroom soup.
- You know the power of a pucker. Whether it’s a kiss or a pout, you know how to make it work to your advantage.
- You have at least one deviled egg platter.
- Your personal thank you notes are engraved and scented.
- Your mama has taken to her bed because you dated “that boy from that family.”
- Your Mamaw can bake/sing/quilt better than anyone else you know.
- You sigh deeply before you tell a story about your mama.
- You’re older than 30 and you still call him ”daddy.”
- You know that collard greens taste better than they smell while cooking.
”sitting up with the dead”
”coming up a cloud”
”Bless your heart”
“pitch a conniption fit.”
“darn tootin’ ”
“fit as a fiddle”
“Don’t you make eyes at me, boy!”
“around the holler”
“I’ll be back directly”
Crazy Texas laws:
- Owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights.
- You can ride your horse in the saloon.
- It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.
- It is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer while standing.
- Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on Monday.
- Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.
- It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.
- It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
- It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don’t need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
God Bless Texas!