Confessions 5: to surrender a dream

“I’ve come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is a measure of a successful life, then some would say I’m a failure. The important thing is not to be bitter over life’s disappointments. Learn to let go of the past. And recognize that every day won’t be sunny, and when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair, remember it’s only in the black of night you see the stars. And those stars will lead you back home. So don’t be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, cause most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you’ll get everything you wish for. Maybe you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination.”

My confession for today…I don’t always want the will of God. Some days I even struggle with believing that He is always good to me.

I’ve come to a crossroads in my heart, one that I was not expecting in the least. I feel my heart telling me one thing and God whispering another. The problem is I believe that the road I wish to take was His idea in the first place.

This is new territory for me. I have been listening to the Spirit’s promptings for awhile now in a specific situation and I have chosen to go where I believe He’s lead me. Then what I first view as a roadblock appears and I quickly realize that it’s just another opportunity that He’s giving me. Something else that is good. Is it possible for me, right now in this moment to believe that God hears my cry and knows what he’s doing?

I have a decision that I have to make soon. A decision that could potentially affect my future. Choosing between two really good things is hard.

I feel like a dream I currently have is quickly ending. What if I surrender it to him? Will he ever give it back? It’s a scary reality right now. I need to be reminded that God will provide more than I could ever hope or imagine or ask Him for.

Lord, either way you choose to lead me I want to believe that it is good and YOU are good. Expel doubt and fear in me. Replace it with truth and wisdom. I can only do this well with your help. My heart is aching but I am ready to move forward. Give me tangible evidence of your presence today, tomorrow and beyond. Remind me who I am following after. I trust you.


3 thoughts on “Confessions 5: to surrender a dream

  1. Kara, I really resonate with what you wrote here. I myself have been going through a phase lately of assessing whether I really believe God has my best in mind, and it’s easy for me to get mad the second things don’t go the way I want, instead of seeing that maybe God has something else, something better in mind that isn’t even in my matrix.

    Anyways, I appreciate the candor in this post, friend.


  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by July Guevara, Mobile Ministry Mag, Rachael Davison, Tim Hale, Kara Helena and others. Kara Helena said: new blog post: Confessions 5: to surrender a dream: […]

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