Over the past two weeks I feel like I’ve been on some scary roller coaster that just won’t stop. Oh yeah, complete with people screaming around me, others cautiously watching from the sidelines and there’s that damn camera at the end to capture my feelings and expressions of that last unpredictable “loop” in the track.
On Wednesday, July 7th, I was diagnosed with skin cancer. The following Monday I received a call from my doctor where I was informed that the cancer might be in other areas and to prepare myself for a worse outcome. Last Thursday I went in for surgery to remove the cancerous cells. On Friday afternoon I received news from the doctor that the lab results were back and ALL IS CLEAR. I am completely healed. See what I mean? roller coaster.
I look back and can’t believe it was only 10 days, start to finish. Last week I remember waking up thinking “Is this ever going to end?” It felt like it had been months. Time was ticking by slowly and I had a hard time waiting, no answers, no long-term plan, just waiting…
Throughout this whole time God has quietly said, “Stop and listen.” Listen to Him. I did a mighty fine job of listening to everyone else BUT him at times. Doctors, friends, family members, etc. All well-intentioned people of course. I can’t imagine what the last two weeks would have been like without them. I find myself looking back and seeing all the ways God was trying to get my attention and speak to me and even through me to others and I missed a lot of opportunities. I also see how much closer he and I are because of this experience. When I let all the noise, all the other voices fade, I listened and held onto the words He spoke.
Lately I’ve learned a lot and grown in my appreciation and participation of being silent and still. Enjoying being in the presence of God, even in the midst of chaos. He’s drawn me closer to Him, whispering truth and reminding me of who I am in Him. He’s had me on a journey of healing; complete healing that goes far beyond my physical health. I can only sit back and marvel at him today. Beauty out of ashes. Quiet in the chaos of life.