CONNECT day 4: Hud’s marriage class

forget me knott photography

In this afternoon’s breakout session at Connect I attended Hud’s marriage class. Honestly I was just going to skip the sessions altogether, none of them seemed to interest me when I first read them. But I value everything I’ve learned from Hud thus far and thought what better time to hear about how to have a healthy marriage then while I’m still single.

I have to say that until earlier this year I didn’t desire to get married. At all. I’ve never really been one of those women that dreams of the perfect wedding dress, what colors I want my bridesmaids to have to agree to wear, etc. But slowly I’ve been allowing God to change my heart towards what He might have for me in the future. I have a few reasons why I’ve chosen to not consider marriage in the past, but once again God is at work in me and I’m finding myself open to the possibility like never before.

Here are just a few of the powerful pieces of wisdom that Hud shared. I’m pretty sure this is gonna be life changing for me.

  • Connection is not predictable. Attachments are predictable.
  • “love me…but from a distance” syndrome. Yep, I’ve got all the symptoms. Fear of commitment, fear of failure in relationships and an unhealthy barrier in relationships.
  • Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. And that covenant is not just between you and your spouse- it’s between you and God.
  • You should want to be with someone, not need to be with them.  Two essentially whole people coming together, not of necessity. (sidenote– I’ve always hated the quote from Jerry Maguire, “You complete me”. ugh)
  • Expose your inabilities/inadequacies, don’t cover them up.
  • We are never neutral in a relationship. We are always either moving toward or away from someone.
  • A conscious move toward another. That’s love.
  • Marriage is not a gift, it’s an achievement.
  • Missionary v. anthropology approach. The missionary tries to change the other person, the anthropologist studies and understands.

Human beings exist because of love,
and the meaning and goal of our lives is love. -Gerald May


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